Preparing for Fatherhood, Part 1: Getting more time and energy out of every day

In this “Preparing for Fatherhood” series of posts, I’m taking my own advice from my book, A Man’s Guide to Newborn Babies, to prepare for the arrival of my second child. In Part 1, I’m going over some things I’ve been doing to get my own self in order.

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I’m going to be a dad again!

My wife is 33 weeks pregnant with our second child, a girl. I’m thrilled to become a father again!

My older daughter is almost 3 years old now. It’s been an amazing journey to get to this stage with her, and I can’t wait to get to do it all again with my second kid.

So, for the final stretch of nine weeks, I’ll be blogging about how I’m preparing for my baby’s arrival. I’ll be hitting up my previous stuff from this blog and my books—since it’s been 3 years since I’ve done this whole baby thing, I need a refresher course!

In this article, I’m going to go over what I’m doing to recover the energy and time that I need to take care of my new baby as well as my three-year-old daughter. Energy and time are critical resources in order to raise a family, especially in the early baby stage. So I’m starting to lay the groundwork before the baby arrives so that I’ll be ready when it’s show-time.

I’m a bit embarrassed to say: the last few months I’ve gotten pretty lazy. So, starting today I’m resetting my routine to recover my lost energy and time. These are some of the things I’ve been doing preparing for fatherhood.

Quitting TV

This one’s a no-brainer.

I spend way too much time in front of screens these days. It is an obvious good start take my own damn advice and drastically curtail this habit.

My typical evening schedule is: put my daughter to bed, and watch TV until I’m ready to pass out. I spend about 2 hours a day distracting myself with online garbage. Talk about a total waste of time!

I’ve basically stopped watching TV and wasting time online. I’ll allow myself the weekend to relax for a couple hours watching a movie or whatever, but for the working week I’m cutting the habit altogether.

This will recover around 10 hours per week of extra time. Not a bad start!

Early to bed, early to rise

One of my favorite quotes comes from Benjamin Franklin:

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

And this is absolutely true.

Stuff gets done in the morning. Whether it’s preparing for the work day, working on a side project, cleaning the house, or taking care of the baby, morning is when we as humans are the sharpest and most energetic.

So I’ve started to go to sleep and wake up far earlier than before. Last night I went to bed at 10:15pm and rose at 5:15pm, for a total of 7 hours sleep. It’s just past six now and I’ve been productive at preparing this article and getting ready for my work day while everyone’s still asleep.

Going to sleep earlier is way easier now that I’ve dropped the late night TV habit. Instead of plopping down on the sofa, I plop down in bed and pass out. I basically shift useless TV hours in the evening to hyper-productive hours in the early morning.

Way better sleep hygiene

I am a strong believer that the better sleep I get, the more time I have during the day.

If I get great sleep, then I can do things better and faster during the day, saving time. Good sleep hygiene is critically important in taking care of a baby, so it’s very important to get the basics down with the bun still in the oven.

In my book, A Dad’s Guide to Great Sleep, I go over seven habits to improve sleep hygiene:

Sleep Habit #1:  Reduce stress. Breathe, relax, everything’s going to be alright.

Sleep Habit #2:  Don’t drink coffee, drink tea. Already there. Haven’t drank coffee in years.

Sleep Habit #3:  Eliminate late night screen usage. Blue light from screens keeps you up at night.

Sleep Habit #4:  Follow a bedtime routine. Snuggling up next to my wife and reading to my daughter does the trick.

Sleep Habit #5:  Night guards, appropriate pillows, comfortable sleepwear. I use ‘em all.

Sleep Habit #6:  Eat healthfully and on time. Always eat at least 3 hours before bedtime.

Sleep Habit #7:  Make sure you exercise. I’m kicking my ass to get to the gym on the regular.

Reshuffling my activities to optimal times of the day

During each work day, there are lots of things that I’d like to do:

• Prepare the house for the new baby.
• Work on this blog and my books.
• Exercise.
• Read educational books.
• Hang out with my wife.

Lately, what ends up happening is that a lot of these things fall through the cracks.

So, I’m committing to rearranging my work day in such a way that I can optimally get to each of these activities based on what I know about how my brain and body ticks. This is how this looks like:

Mornings:

I have the most energy and focus in the morning. Working on my blog and business in the early morning makes me far more productive than at any other time of the day. In fact, I don’t even get to the work unless I schedule it in the early morning.

Going to the gym is also best done in the morning. Getting it out of the way early gives me a physical and mental boost for the rest of the day.

Evenings:

In the evenings, I spend time with my wife after my daughter goes to sleep. We talk about what we’re going to name the baby, talk about our day, and even flirt with each other. It’s important to keep the romance fire burning because it’s hard to light it up again!

Also in the evening, I read books. I strongly believe that reading stuff that enriches your brain is critical to living a good life.

Weekends:

On weekends, my wife and I make plans for the baby. We go out and buy baby stuff and rearrange the house to optimize for baby care.

To be sure, when baby arrives my schedule will be tossed upside-down. The important thing is to have the mindset to schedule activities at times when it is most optimal to do those activities.

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This is the stuff that I’ve been doing preparing for fatherhood, and to get more time and energy out of my day. I believe that this will make me far better prepared for my baby’s arrival.

I strongly believe that in order to be a great dad, a man has to be the best version of himself and that takes work.

For more advice for new parents prior to a baby’s arrival, stay tuned for the next posts in this series. If you are looking for one of the best books for new dads, check out A Man’s Guide to Newborn Babies, in paperback or Kindle versions.