There are many, many amazingly positive effects when dads spend time with their kids.
Kids are smarter, become more upwardly mobile, and may even live longer. Dads who spend time with their kids are happier, less stressed-out, and yes, also may even live longer than men who either don’t have kids or don’t spend time with them. (I wrote an article on these effects, check it out here).
In the toddler stage, there are many additional benefits to dad and little one hanging out together. Here’s a laundry list of things that just make life way better because you choose to spend your spare time with your toddler.
More hugs
I notice that whenever I go on a dad-and-daughter day with my little one that for days afterwards she is way more huggy towards me. She’ll jump on my lap, or hug my leg when I’m doing the dishes.
We just built a snowman in the front yard. My little one absolutely loved building it with me. She put a carrot in for a nose and little dried up flowers for the eyes. I also take her to places like the aquarium to spend time with her. For days after an outing, she always wants to hang out with me a lot more.
Less clinginess to mom
More hugginess towards dad means less clinginess towards mom. Mom definitely appreciates that.
For many households, the mom is the primary go-to person for a young toddler. This can be occasionally exasperating to mom to be having a tiny human being chase them around the house all the time asking “What’s this one? What’s that one?”
When I spend a lot of quality time with my daughter, it’s like a soft reboot of the family relationships. She tends to gravitate to me a lot more, taking the pressure off my wife.
Better relationship with your wife
Less pressure on your wife from a demanding toddler means a better relationship within the marriage.
My wife always greatly appreciates it whenever I spend a lot of solo time with my little girl. Although I always spend time with her during the week as a family, I try to take her out just her and me at least once a week so that we can have some bonding experiences.
Whenever I do this, I can tell that this also mini-reboots my relationship with my wife. We laugh a lot more together and flirt a little more.
You get a lot of approval
Dads who are clearly active in their toddler’s life are well-regarded by just about everyone.
While it naturally feel good to get approval from others on anything, there are positive knock-on effects of being seen to be an involved dad.
I find that parents of other kids come to me and talk about the quality of playtime with my kid. My daughter’s day care teachers feel as comfortable talking to me about my little one as they are with my wife. I get way more feedback on how my kid is doing because I am seen as being an involved dad.
Also, it’s simply the right thing to be really involved in your toddler’s life. It feels great doing the right thing.
It’s way easier to perform the mechanics of child care
Child care can be an exercise in frustration. Toddlers can be really willful. During the toddler years they are experiencing their own agency for the first time ever, and they really want to exercise it.
If you spend a lot of time with your kid, he will tolerate you doing things that he doesn’t want to do at that very moment. He is far more likely to allow you to dress him, help him go to the potty, participate in taking a bath, and so on.
Having these mechanics of child care be much easier really helps with family life and also increases your bank of spare time.
You gain a best friend
Most importantly, if you spend lots of quality time with your toddler you gain a buddy for life. Before the age of 4, a toddler becomes emotionally bonded to you as a parent—or not, depending on how much time you spend with her.
In my life, I’ve met a lot of dads who are distant and aloof towards their kids, and their kids reciprocate their apathy towards them. I really strive to be the opposite and be a best friend to my little girl. As I get older, I really want to be close to my kid and any others that follow. Friends come and friends go, but family is forever.
Some suggestions on how to spend quality time with your toddler
- Here’s some things that a dad can do with his little kid that helps with bonding:
- Build some Ikea furniture together.
- Go to the park and play.
- Take your kid out to the zoo or aquarium.
- Teach how to ride a tricycle.
- Do chores together, like laundry or washing vegetables.
- Take your kid out to an art, music, or dance class.
- Take your kid swimming.
- Kick the ball around the yard.
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Need more spare time to spend with your toddler? Check out A Dad’s Guide to Spare Time, available on Amazon Kindle and in paperback.
